TPP Round 2

Just over three weeks into the internship this year and already so much has happened here in Roxborough. We've built 22 bunk beds from scratch to add an extra 44 sleeping spaces to TPP HeadQuarters, which has rightfully retained its nickname of HQ. There are now enough beds to sleep over 130 students, leaders, and staff members. And with over 400 people booked to come through The Project in the month of July, we'll need every single one of them. 

Apart from building bunk beds, the worksite interns have quickly and successfully learned how to drywall, spackle, sand, prime, paint, and many other much-needed skills that they will be teaching students on their very own worksites this summer. The tool room has been reorganized, cleaned up, and all the tools returned to their respective areas. We have gone out to many of the homes that we'll be working in this summer to scope out the work that needs to be done, but more importantly, set the foundation for the relationship between the home owner and the intern that will be on the site throughout the duration of the summer. Each of the worksite interns have their own personal assignments ranging from organizing games to designing and creating a prayer chapel for the students, which have almost all been completed. It's insane how much has been accomplished by this group of people serving the Lord. 

We started things off with a staff retreat, where we learned all about the philosophy and structure of TPP and what was going to be in store. We also did many team building exercises that taught the staff about each other and how we can best love one another as we serve together throughout the Summer. God was present in each of our lives as we adjusted to the new community and were brought together by the power of His Spirit. We did not return to HQ the same people as we were when we embarked on the retreat. 

I've had the opportunity to work closely with Chuck Killoran on planning the worksites, getting together materials, and training the worksite interns on how to best lead students through a day on the worksite. It's been awesome to give direction to people on something that I've experienced. Even having experienced what they're about to embark on with much anxiety, I'm more excited than ever for them to grow through this summer in leadership. More accurately, I'm excited to grow alongside of them and learn from them as we all lead each other and the students closer to Jesus. 

We've also been able to travel to a bunch of families' homes each night for the past 2 weeks to eat dinner and rest after long days of work. If you're one of those people reading this: I can't say thank you enough. We've grown closer together as a staff as we've eaten your delicious food and gotten to feel the peace of a home for a few short hours. It has been incredible to see how much God has blessed the Project with so many people willing to host over 15 people in their homes to a meal and a safe haven from the busy-ness of the Project, even in the midst of transitioning into difficult and busy seasons of life. 

One of the craziest ways that I've seen the Lord work throughout our time here so far has been amongst the staff and the relationships that have been built. I actually consider the 4 other male interns my brothers even after knowing 3/4 of them for only the past few weeks. I've already learned a ton from each of them, whether that be philosophically, theologically, or just watching their actions and love for Christ play out in their everyday lives. I couldn't be more excited to grow closer together with them as the Summer plays out. 

One of the greatest areas of growth that I've seen in my own heart as I've served at TPP so far has been the transition out of last year's "I can't wait to grow in my faith and walk with Christ" mentality, and into a more "I'm so excited to see God work in the lives of everyone around me". That is not at all to say that I am willing to miss the work that Jesus is going to do in my own heart, but rather a testament to the way that He has changed my heart already. He has made me excited to serve, to sacrifice, speak, lead, and love others all for HIS name and not my own. I don't want to grow for the sake of growing. I want to grow so that God can use me to further His Kingdom both here in North West Philly and wherever He takes me beyond this Summer. 

Tonight I was able to have dinner with the Garcia fam squad, which was such a blessing to me. I'm thankful for their heart to see the Lord use them in so many different ways and all the families and individuals that they've been able to bless throughout the life of The Philadelphia Project. They have 3 kids, Cadence (almost 1 year), Nate (3), and Isaiah (4.5) who are all insane and love to jump all over the place. I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend with them and hope to do it more as the Summer progresses! 

What's on the horizon:

Tonight, many of the interns will be attending a spoken word event a Sharon Baptist Church where our very own "boss" (more like pastor and friend) Scott Smith will be headlining. I'm personally really pumped for this to be spiritually filled and encouraged. Tomorrow, we're gonna be up early to host a group of 17 college students out on our first day at the worksites! I'm excited to experience more of what my role of "Work-Camp Coordinator" will look like on a day-to-day basis once we get into the meat of the Summer of Service (SOS). We'll be running 5 different sites and the home owners, interns, and students couldn't be more excited to get started sharing the Gospel through their work and words out in North West Philly! Pray for us, please!! Next week we'll be doing more work prepping HQ for students to be staying, then on Wednesday we have another day of service out on worksites! 

Please continue to pray for strength and energy as each day gets closer to the crazy month of July. We're excited for the insanity to happen, but we know that it's going to take every ounce of energy that we have (and that we don't have) and we'll need to rely on God's strength and grace to get us through each day! Thanks to all who have supported me financially and prayerfully. I'm not able to do any of this without your support. 

Please, if you're interested in knowing anything more or in helping out in any capacity, reach out to me! God bless.

Pray for me!

 

Craziness At TPP

I gotta start by apologizing for my lack of posts recently. It's been crazy here and I haven't had the time to update y'all on what we're up to. I'm pretty sure my last post ended just as we were beginning to put the finishing touches on HQ (TPP's main building) before groups arrived the following week. Let's pick up there, I guess...

That week we finished up the work that needed to be done on the building including but not limited to: finishing building the new showers, vacuuming, cleaning, and painting. On Wednesday I met Ms. Martina who is the owner of the home that I'll be working on all summer. I confess that my original thoughts about my worksite were sprinkled with fear and insecurity.

You see, my first project at her house was to rip the siding off the back of her house, tear out the old, rotted sheathing, frame out a window, and replace the wall. On top of that, we had to entirely replace the roof. So as Chuck brought me around the house showing me the things that I'll be working on this summer, I knew it was gonna be difficult. I began to pray for my worksite. Not only for the work, but for my own heart to be consumed with peace about the whole situation. Knowing that I'd be on the site in just under a week with a handful of high school students and one leader, I wasn't exactly calm.

However, as I prayed for the time that I'd be spending there, I actually became excited to work on Ms. Martina's house. Though I still had some fears about my ability (or lack thereof) to replace the outside wall on a house, I was also healthily anxious to see how it would work out.

The students from Colorado arrived on Saturday night as we were finishing up the showers in the new building. The other group from Virginia arrived Sunday afternoon. After meeting a lot of the kids, playing some sweet ice breaker games (shout out to Josh!), and having our first Club of the summer, we were ready to head out to the worksites on Monday morning.

The week began with a good bit of demolition on the wall. The entire wall was completely rotted out and in awful shape. I (somewhat) hesitantly told the students what to do and how to do it (even though I didn't even know myself). Regardless, the wall came down; and by the end of the week, a new one was up, the window was framed out, the new wall "tyveked" and even more, Ms. Martina had a brand new roof on the back of her house.

Looking back, I don't know how it happened. It might have been my constant prayers that everyone would stay safe, I wouldn't ruin Martina's house, and that God would use me to lead well. But no matter what it was, it worked out by the grace of God. The students worked incredibly hard the entire week which was awesome to see. It was one of those moments in life that you look back on and you'd be a fool for taking the credit for. It was so obviously the work of God through you and others that all you can do is say, 'wow'.

So, beyond the worksite, the week with the Colorado and Virginia groups was incredible. One of the most remarkable things about the whole trip to me was the fellowship and comradery that was formed as the week went on. It was truly a blessing to watch the groups come together and form friendships that never would have been there if it weren't for the Kingdom of God.

As the "Club Intern" I feel obliged to talk a little bit about how Club went for the week. For those of you that don't know, Club is our evening program that includes crazy games, a worship set, an occasional guest "performance", and a sermon, which all lead into small groups. I assist Scott in putting this all together. It's been a heck of an experience. I've been able to connect to a ton of different talented musicians, singers, and performers in Philly. And I've even seen those musicians connect in a really cool way

Programming-wise, I thought Club was as good as it had ever been on Sunday night. The music was there, energy was there, everything was awesome. It was the start of an incredible experience for the students that are coming through are able to be a part of. My heart for Club is to create an environment that invites the Spirit of God to work in the hearts and lives of all that experience it. There's a bunch of different programming decisions that are made in order to do this, but when it comes down to it, we simply pray. Entrusting the time to God and letting Him work through us and the decisions that we've made. The time of prayer before Club has honestly become a highlight of the day for me. It allows me to quiet my heart and just let go of all the logistics and understand that God is going to use the time no matter what.

Spotsylvania left on Friday afternoon and Colorado was set to leave the following morning. However, that night we were in Creation-prep mode. We were pushing all day long trying to get everything packed and ready to go for Tuesday morning when we would leave for a week long festival in the middle-of-nowhere, PA. A few of the interns (including myself) were chopping up wretched firewood for the week, when Anita comes over and informs us that Sara isn't feeling well and might have to go to the hospital. We prayed together, but continued working. Not much more time passed when we saw flashing lights and a fire truck pulling into the parking lot (there weren't enough ambulances at the local hospital so they sent what they had).

To be honest, I was scared. But I also knew that everything was gonna be okay. I was most blown away at the love that the group from Colorado showed Sara by getting together as a group and praying. Sara was taken to the hospital and stayed for a few days and was released back to us on Sunday. I don't want to get the diagnosis wrong so if you want to know, too bad! All I know is that we were incredibly happy to have her back serving with us.

So...Creation. Yeah.... what an experience.
The first night there was a torrential down pour that soaked all our belongings and almost blew away all our canopies. The rest of the week kinda followed suit. We served all the meals, went to all the night-time festivities, and enjoyed a lot of time with the 100 students on our campsite. Beyond the uncomfortable wet clothes, lack of sleep, and relentless rain, it was a great week... We were able to build relationships with students that will be coming to the project later this summer. Out of fear of rambling and complaining too much longer, we'll move on from Creation.

As soon as we got back from the exhausting week though, we had a lot of work to do. Cleaning out coolers, putting away chairs, cleaning tables, and tons of other miscellaneous tasks. We also prepped the buildings for the next day when a group would be arriving for a short week.

The group from Haverford arrived around 8:30 the next morning and we were ready to hit the worksites. I was given a different site to lead this week due to the lack of students that were in this particular youth group. I was a little nervous about going into someone's house that I hadn't served in before, but God guided my steps and made for a great day on the job. Though I thought it went awfully, I found out later it was the highlight of the students day. God was obviously laughing in my face due to the lack of faith and trust I had in Him.

I absolutely loved the group from Haverford. We had an incredible week and I speak for everyone when I say I wish that were there with us for a full week. The best part of the week for me was the relationships that I saw form between some of the students. It was really cool to see walls be torn down that I (again) didn't have enough faith to see that God could do it.

Anyway, so after an awesome barbecue on Wednesday evening and an incredibly powerful covenant time, the group headed out. The interns all blitzed the two buildings, cleaning, vacuuming, etc. and we were off. For the next three. stinken. days. (LotR reference for those that are confused).

Personally I had an unbelievably relaxing and awesome break. I slept, had good fellowship with some awesome friends, and ate some good food. Now I'm back here at the project helping RPC (Roxborough Presbyterian Church) put on a summer camp on for 100 little kids. I have the awesome opportunity of running slides and sound for them this week! (I'm seeing this as a week of rest).

Prayer points!!
   Good rest when we get it
   Selflessness
   That God would continue to work in my heart
   Vision on the worksite to see what needs are there and how we can meet them
   My strong and lovely Aunt Anne who is in the hospital (and the ability to focus on things here while that's going on)
   Faithful in reading the Word

So normally I would now talk about how God has been doing personal work in my heart in the latter half of the post, but this post is long enough without that! In short, God truly is shaping me into the man that He wants me to be and I'm super psyched about it! Sorry about not posting for 2 weeks. If you want to know how I'm doing, please please please text me. I may not answer right away but I'd love to hear from you! (seriously)

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support this summer. It wouldn't have been possible without you!

Pray for me

Continued Growth

So it's been 2 and a half weeks since we all moved in to The Philly Project. My last update ended with the beginning of the real hard work...

For the past two weeks we've moved all of the Project's belongings out of Mt. Airy Presbyterian Church about 20 minutes away from our new facility next door to Roxborough Pres. We loaded up 5 (overflowing) box truck loads and six 15-passenger vans with no seats in them all over the course of about 4 days. Among those loads there were 40 sets of oak bunk beds, upwards of 15 couches, 2 giant refrigerators, two 250+lb televisions, an insane amount of silverware, over 20 mattresses and box springs, and much, much more.

It was incredible to see God shine through everyone as we encouraged each other, sweat our butts off, and pushed ourselves to the limit.  Since we completed the move we've been doing everything and anything to prepare the new building for the students which will arrive here this Friday the 14th.

One night this week (they all blend together) we went to the Milley's house for an awesome time of fellowship, good food, games, and conversations. It was a blessing to spend some time off site and be hosted and loved by such an awesome family. On Thursday night we went to Chuck's Kiloran's house for another awesome night of fellowship. All of these times are truly bringing the team closer together, even despite our competitive spirits when playing card games and the like.

During the preparation of the new building we've hung dry wall, spackeled, put together bunk beds, built walls, painted, and many other construction-y things. This work has doubled as our "worksite training". This week we'll meet the home owners that we'll be working at for the duration of the summer which I'm super pumped about.

Personal assignments. Hmm.. Let's chat about that for a second. Really, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my personal assignment is the phrase "it's had its ups and downs".
The "ups":
I've made a hole through every wall that I needed to. One of my jobs has been to set up the sanctuary for the club time this summer. We had to run a cable back from both sides of the stage to the sound board on top of the balcony. We got one set completed early on, no problems. However, the other set of speakers we had to drill through 3 walls to get it back in order for it to stay out of the way. I, with the help of Scott at times, probably spent upwards of 4 or 5 hours trying to drill holes through the walls. The reason being that 2 of them had metal in them and it took quite some time to get through that as you can imagine.
Although this was incredibly difficult and time consuming, I classify it as an "up" because it is now completed. The sanctuary is borderline entirely set up and I'm super pumped about it. The sound system is LOUD and we have an incredible display of lights, too. It's been sweet to learn all about how to run cables, set up speakers, run a sound board and all that!

The "downs":
So the hardest and yet potentially the most fruitful part of my PA is to invite all the musicians to come into the project and play worship sets throughout the summer. This has proved to be extremely challenging, but also very cool in a way. Man, has God been teaching me patience. It's been really cool to connect with musicians that I've never met before. I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone and seeing how God really pulls the bands together this summer. One thing I know for sure is that whatever happens and whoever comes in, it wasn't me. This is just one of those things that I would be an absolute fool to take credit for putting together.

Prayer requests!

   Group/staff unity as we continue to get to know each other
   A focus on Christ in all things
   The humility and willingness to serve as Jesus did
   A desire to grow and to know God better
   That I would trust God's ability to put bands together!
   A thankful and grateful heart for all that God has blessed me with
   Continued physical stamina and health
   The students as they prepare for their trips to TPP
   Boldness to step out in faith and spread the gospel

Sorry for the extensive list. Obviously there's more. If you'd like more specific, personal requests, you can contact me via Facebook or E-mail (hagerty.jp@gmail.com). Or if you have my number, just text me!

So once again if you're only interested in the update on the project, you can stop reading. The next part will be about what God has been revealing to me about His loving character.

So over the past few days I've been praying that God would just break my heart and tear down any walls that inhibit me from knowing him better. As a result, He has begun to show me more of His love. More of who He is. More of why I follow Him. Through multiple conversations that I've had with members of the staff, the interns, and interactions with one woman at the Paoli fair today, God has showed me what His love means.

There was a woman, Sheila, who was packing up her stuff getting ready to leave the fair. Anita mentioned to Jess and I that we should ask her if we could help at all, so we did. After breaking down Sheila's tent, we brought all of her boxes to her truck and loaded it up. We then prayed with her about some health and anxiety issues that she has been having. She must have said 'thank you' over 30 times in the 15 minutes that we met her. God truly used us to bless Sheila in this way. I am so thankful for the opportunity that we had to be able to do that, and especially for Anita and her active pursuit of that situation.

One of the coolest things that has been on my heart recently is the way in which the grace of Christ demands a response from us. Not in a lawful or obligation sort of way; but in a loving, reverent way. The notion that we are to serve out of the overflow of what Christ has done for us is, though cliché, very true. Admittedly, there were times this past week that I didn't feel like there was an overflow. That I was simply serving and "loving" out of obligation and habit. I also know that this will not be the only time that I will feel like this. Of course, God being who He is, poured into my life with displays of love, through His Word, and conversations. I know that He will continue to reveal Himself to me as I press in deeper to His Word and in worship.

It's been a crazy 2.5 weeks here. Pray that God will continue to teach me, mold me, and grow me into the follower of Christ that He desires me to be. He is good. Thank you for reading.

Pray for me.

Here I am

I'm here at The Philadelphia Project (TPP). We (myself and 8 other interns) moved in on Wednesday and since then have been serving, getting to know each other, preparing the new building here at Roxborough Presbyterian Church, and many other activities.

On Thursday we went up the Northeast extension to the Poconos where we took a retreat at camp Ichthus where we began to learn more about each other and TPP. At the camp we cheered each other on as we each took our turn climbing up a rock wall and then taking a zip line down from the top. We then moved onto two ropes course activities in which we had to use team work to navigate through. In the second, we were unable to speak and had to communicate via hand signals, encourage via clapping, and direct by holding onto a shoulder or something of that sort. All of us were able to step up in leadership in conquering the course. 

The final challenge we faced was getting all of our team members over a 13 foot wall. The catch was that only two among us were allowed to speak. Furthermore, those that couldn't speak also were not allowed to use any form of communication at all. Janae and Jess did an awesome job of brainstorming ways to get us all over the wall. And after bruises, failed attempts, and moans of pain as strength was giving out, we were able to get all but one of our members over. It was really a great exercise of leadership, submission, self-control, and teamwork. 

The rest of the retreat was dedicated to a few sessions that we were able to learn more about the vision of the project and our role in it this summer. 

Since we have returned we have had a lot of free time, but we have used much of it to begin our the personal assignments that were given to us. Mine is basically to help Scott oversee Club Time here at the Project. This includes contacting all band members that will be coming through to serve, as well as in the future helping with sound equipment, running slide shows for lyrics, and making sure all goes as planned.

So that's pretty much a run down of what we've been doing so far here. A few practical ways that you can be praying for us:

Continued unity and love

Unifying our desires with the desires of Christ in our lives

The city of Philadelphia

Servants hearts as the hard work begins this week

We would be pressing into God's word and his love for each of us

That God would continue to bless this ministry and this city

There's a lot more that's going on in my heart that I definitely want to discuss. If you're just looking for an update, feel free to stop reading! If you're interested in what God has been revealing to me and how He's been encouraging me, that's what the next part will be about!

The guy interns and I, Josh and Allan, have been encouraging me by both their lifestyles and their words in a huge way. The way that they're just pumped up about Jesus and who He is to them has been absolutely a blessing to me. It encourages me in ways they don't even know. While I've been wrestling with doubts and fears, this is one thing that has truly begun to bring me so much peace. 

Another way that God has revealed Himself to me is through just the bonds that have been formed so quickly amongst the interns. It'd be easy for all of us to just view this as a missions trip in which we get to serve the Lord, which it is. However, it really has begun to mean so much more. A time to grow in fellowship with one another. To get to know each other on a deeper level. To love one another. To respect each other. To glean from each other. To spur one another on in the name of Jesus. It's so much more than just a missions trip.

The title of this blog is "Here I Am". The reason I chose this title is because it gives me the image of a child answering his parents call and saying "Here I am, I'm ready. Whatever you need to get done, I'm here, ready to answer the call and build your kingdom." My prayer is that that image will be my heart this summer. Ready to answer God's call on my life and build His kingdom in Philadelphia. 

There's a lot more that God has been showing me, but I'm gonna grab some shut-eye. Thank you for reading! God bless.

Pray for me.

Come to the Fountain

"Come, all who are thirsty,

come to the waters; 

and you who have no money, 

come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk,

without money and without cost,

Why spend money on what is not bread,

and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

and you will delight in the richest of fare."

Isaiah 55:1-2

There's a story in John in which Jesus talks to a Samaritan woman at a well. There's a myriad of lessons to learn from the conversation that he has with her, but the one that God has hurled at me on numerous occasions in the past 2 weeks has been one of living water. Of thirsting for God. Of desiring God. Of needing Jesus. Instead of just worshipping God, talking about him, or seeking after him; actually NEEDING him. There's a difference, I think. We were created to worship, human beings were. Whether we worship ourselves, our money, our grades, whatever it is, we worship constantly. Man, I got off topic already.

I'm writing tonight because I want to express what God has taught me recently. That's usually why I write on here at all. But for some reason this time it seems special. Over the past 2 weeks, God has showed me what living a life of worship requires. Actually, in reality, all of this semester that's what He's been showing me. The idea of thirsting for God. What does that mean? 

It's funny because thirst is something that is a very physical and relatable feeling for all of us, even as we live in privileged families in 21st century America. We've all been thirsty. We've all had that dry-mouth feeling. We know what that feels like. Let's be honest here, it sucks. I hate being thirsty. Literally the only thing on my mind when I'm thirsty is how I can get something to drink. My mind is fixed on who I can talk to, where I could go, what I could do, all to just get a little drink of water. I need it. 

Now, I don't know the Hebrew or Greek translation of the original text in Isaiah 55, but I think it's very interesting that the writer uses the word "thirsty". As I said, it's so relatable. To think that he uses it in the context of knowing God... We see this also in the Psalms when the Psalmist writes: "You God, are my God, Earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you" (Psalm 63:1). This is what I want for my life. This is not even a little bit close to what I'm in currently. At this point I'm just praying that God will do a work in my heart to give me the desires to know Him better. You see, thirsting for God means so much more than just worshipping him or talking about him. Thirsting for God requires humble dependence. Letting go and accepting that HE is the only thing that satisfies. It means realizing that it's him that I want. It's not my reputation, it's not my grades, it's not good health, it's not how I look, it's not how people view me, no, it's not even about my desires to let loose and go running back to old vices that used to grip me so tightly. It's humility. The humility to say, "God, I need you more than I need X" Where X=EVERYTHING. 

So hopefully that expressed the lesson God has taught me about what it looks like to need him...? Not sure if that's even the best way to put it. Whatever. But now I want to briefly talk about how despite my need for God, I continually run to a multitude of other things fully believing that they will "quench my thirst" (if you will). What is it about this world that so tempts and convinces me that I can be satisfied elsewhere? Is it the way our bodies are designed? Am I wired to believe in the lies that are told to me on a daily basis? Simply put, the answer is yes. It is a direct result of the sinful nature of man that can be traced back to the garden with Adam and Eve. Is that an excuse to just throw the towel in and accept that we're broken, sinful people? Absolutely not. If that were the case, passages like Psalm 63 and Isaiah 55 wouldn't exist. Actually, the entire Gospel wouldn't exist, but that's beside the point right now. Back on track, the reality of the world is that it appears satisfying in every way. For me, the party scene, financial security, a good reputation, beautiful women, and material possessions are all at the top of a very long list of things that look attractive and satisfying. However, when those things are achieved or obtained, I find time after time, that they are not true. That they are empty. Full of...emptiness. Even after my 2,333,496th time running back to something, it stays constant...but constantly empty.

There is something more. Jesus offers eternal life for those that drink from the fountain of life. I don't know how well I'm getting my point across. But honestly, I'm just rambling at 1AM. I think it's about time I go to sleep. I'll leave you with the words of a Rend Collective Experiment song:

"I need you, Lord

But I want to need you more...

I am broken but I'm running towards you, God"

Pray for me. 

A Life of Worship

The word "worship" has been one that has surrounded me my entire life. When I was in Sunday School I was told not to worship idols, when I got to middle school I started playing in worship bands, when I got to High School I was challenged with what the term actually meant. However, it was only until recently that I've really started to wrestle with this idea. A few questions have just kinda popped up inside my head. What does it mean to worship God in everything that I do? What does it mean to give thanks in difficult circumstances? What would it look like if I actually practiced this?

Okay, so I don't actually know the answers to these questions, but I'm starting to wrestle and pray over them. I'm confident that God will lead me towards Himself as He's the one that put them on my heart in the first place.

The second question, "What does it mean to give thanks (worship) in difficult circumstances?" is one that has been weighing on my heart all week long. I found out that my Aunt Anne, who has been in remission for the past 9 years, found a lump earlier this week. This woman has been through just about everything. The fear that consumed me when I heard this news was immeasurable; I can't even imagine how she felt. How could this happen when it seemed like we were finally out of the woods? Just when it seemed to no longer be a threat, the cancer returned. Doubts, fears, anxiety, sadness, and darkness flooded my heart. I couldn't even think about it for too long. I did everything I could to distract myself. However, that road always comes to a dead end. So there I was, lying in my bed after a long day full of desperate attempts to keep my mind busy. God confronted me. Revealed himself...Challenged me. 

Suddenly, I remembered James 1.

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds" (James 1:2, NIV)

I remembered Matthew 11.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, NIV)

I remembered Phillippians 4

"And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phillippians 4:7, NIV)

Thankfully, we got word that the cancer has not spread and a surgery in the near future will hopefully remove the rest of the tumor.

There I was, with the God of the universe by my side, offering me help, blessings, rest, comfort, peace, joy, (the list goes on and on), and I was terrified of a disease. I'm not, by any means, making light of the situation. Instead, I am proposing an idea. The idea that there truly is nothing that we should fear on this earth. The idea that instead of distracting ourselves, bottling things up, doubting goodness, we can lay it all down at the foot of the cross. 

The cross. The only reason I have to boast. The place of forgiveness. The most perfect display of love ever shown. The foundation of life. This list goes on and on, too. What more, though? The grave is empty. HE IS RISEN!

What does this have to do with living a worshipful life? God calls us to give thanks in every situation that we're put into. No matter how difficult. Why does he do this? Does God expect us to "find the silver lining" as Bradley Cooper incessantly searched for in "Silver Linings Playbook"? Does God want us to just find that one tiny little bit of good in every situation and hold onto it as if we know nothing else? Not at all. God calls us to give thanks because Jesus has died, resurrected, and already achieved victory over everything in our lives. I'm not sure if I successfully explained this...In an attempt to sum it up, I am called to worship God, because of the work that Jesus has done on the cross, in spite of any possible situation thrown at me. There is not a single moment in my life that I do not have a reason to worship. This is not something that I've done well in my life. Now that I'm praying over it, I know that God will grant me a worshipful spirit in all that I do, and through all that I face. 

As I'm on the home-stretch of my second semester, freshman year of college, I'm exhausted. In every sense of the word. I want nothing more than to be in Myrtle Beach with my family. To be working with The Philadelphia Project. To get away from the shadow of stress that school work casts over every second of my life. But that's not what I'm called to do. I'm called to worship. To worship the Lord of everything with everything.

Lord, allow me to say hallelujah in everything that comes my way. Change my heart to be geared towards you and your greatness. Amen.

Pray for me.

The Gospel: Soaked in Love, Absolute in Truth, and in Direct Opposition to Our Culture

Last night I was reading through 2nd Timothy and there was one theme that stuck out to me in almost every single verse. Now, 2nd Timothy is the second letter written by the apostle Paul to a young man, Timothy, who was in a town in which many people were starting to turn away from faith in Christ. Paul, at the time, was imprisoned in Rome. So picture this: an older, wiser man in prison as a direct result of his preaching the Gospel, is now (while in prison) writing a letter to Timothy who resides in a town that is rapidly turning away from the Gospel. Which, given the nature of the law in those days, means that ultimately, this town will likely imprison people for preaching the Gospel. Get that? It's nuts.

Okay so that's enough history. The theme that just screamed in my head over and over is how incredibly countercultural the Gospel is. As Christians, we say this all the time. Jesus broke social boundaries, the Gospel calls us to live differently, etc. But last night as I read through Paul's charges to Timothy, I began to see even more how radical this theme is in the Gospel. Listen to this, Paul says: 

"He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time" 

2 Timothy 1:9

This stands out in our culture for a few obvious reasons. Number one, where in our culture, friend circles, jobs, schools, are we called to live a holy life? We (or at least I), have grown up thinking and believing that our reputation is incredibly important to our identity and our abilities. This belief, from what I've gathered, is innate. Again, we aren't told by any of our elders or influences to uphold our reputation to the best of our abilities. Sure, maybe once we get older we're encouraged to build a "full" resume which could be argued to be a "paper reputation", but we're not directly told, "make sure others think highly of you". Yet, we spend so much time and effort ensuring that this be the case. So, although this aspect of our culture isn't thoroughly verbalized, it is incredibly prominent. However, the Gospel (specifically Paul here), is preaching that we must live holy lives. This lifestyle is not even the least bit dependent on the judgement of others on you. However, it wholly resides on something else that Paul shares in the next part of the verse.

"Not because of anything we have done, but because of his own purpose and grace". Huh? You're trying to tell me my efforts to live a holy life are motivated by something other than my own strength and desires? Where do you see this in our culture? I'll use an example that is especially potent to me because of where I am in my life. In college, your performance determines what rewards or consequences you will receive. Tangibly, my grades. If I study hard for a test, it is more than likely that I'll get a good grade on it (barring factors like lack of sleep, an overly challenging test, etc.). It makes sense! But the Gospel says it has nothing to do with what you do. You are given grace freely. God hands out A+'s to all those who come and ask! Granted, this isn't the only aspect of the Gospel that you need to grasp in order to follow Jesus, but it is the truth none-the-less.

There's one very large aspect of the Gospel that is so countercultural that many Christians (including myself) have a hard time talking about it to those who don't believe in it. That is that the Gospel claims to be (and is) an absolute Truth. Jesus, all throughout the Gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, shouts this. He says in John 14:6: "I am the way, the truth, the life; no one comes to the Father except through me" and in Matthew 7:13 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." 

In our "open-minded" society, tolerance, equality, and acceptance is emphasized more than anything else. "You can believe what you want, and therefore for you, it's the truth". Do I have a problem with tolerance, equality, and acceptance? Not even in the slightest. In fact I do my best to practice these virtues. But it's when the word truth gets put into these situations that I do have a problem with. It's when tolerance turns into a belief that whatever it is that you're tolerating is a reality. It's when equality for everyone interferes with what us, as Christians, know to be the truth. It's when we accept other people's beliefs to "work for them" even though we claim to believe in a God that claims to be the only one. 

This aspect of the Gospel is harsh and can be taken as offensive. But it doesn't stand alone. A pharisee (teacher of the law) expecting to trip Jesus up might I add, asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is. He replied simply: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39. Think about what this means. If this is the greatest commandment, the only conclusion you can make about Christianity is that it is a religion based around love. How can something be so drenched in love, yet in such great opposition to our culture? Well, that's a topic for another post. 

For now, I want to make a charge very similar to that of Paul's to Timothy. "Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 2:3). This, again, is countercultural. He asks Timothy to suffer. He knows that suffering will come onto Timothy because of the nature of the Gospel. So, by charging him to suffer he is simultaneously asking him to live holy. Living holy, by the absolute truth of the Gospel, loving the Lord God with all your heart, and loving others will bring about suffering, but it brings about hope. A hope that triumphs over all of the hurt and suffering that comes along with it. 

These are the things that God has put on my heart and revealed to me through His Word. As I continue to pray that God will show me more and more of His face, I urge you as well to seek after him. He will answer. 

Pray for me.