Craziness At TPP

I gotta start by apologizing for my lack of posts recently. It's been crazy here and I haven't had the time to update y'all on what we're up to. I'm pretty sure my last post ended just as we were beginning to put the finishing touches on HQ (TPP's main building) before groups arrived the following week. Let's pick up there, I guess...

That week we finished up the work that needed to be done on the building including but not limited to: finishing building the new showers, vacuuming, cleaning, and painting. On Wednesday I met Ms. Martina who is the owner of the home that I'll be working on all summer. I confess that my original thoughts about my worksite were sprinkled with fear and insecurity.

You see, my first project at her house was to rip the siding off the back of her house, tear out the old, rotted sheathing, frame out a window, and replace the wall. On top of that, we had to entirely replace the roof. So as Chuck brought me around the house showing me the things that I'll be working on this summer, I knew it was gonna be difficult. I began to pray for my worksite. Not only for the work, but for my own heart to be consumed with peace about the whole situation. Knowing that I'd be on the site in just under a week with a handful of high school students and one leader, I wasn't exactly calm.

However, as I prayed for the time that I'd be spending there, I actually became excited to work on Ms. Martina's house. Though I still had some fears about my ability (or lack thereof) to replace the outside wall on a house, I was also healthily anxious to see how it would work out.

The students from Colorado arrived on Saturday night as we were finishing up the showers in the new building. The other group from Virginia arrived Sunday afternoon. After meeting a lot of the kids, playing some sweet ice breaker games (shout out to Josh!), and having our first Club of the summer, we were ready to head out to the worksites on Monday morning.

The week began with a good bit of demolition on the wall. The entire wall was completely rotted out and in awful shape. I (somewhat) hesitantly told the students what to do and how to do it (even though I didn't even know myself). Regardless, the wall came down; and by the end of the week, a new one was up, the window was framed out, the new wall "tyveked" and even more, Ms. Martina had a brand new roof on the back of her house.

Looking back, I don't know how it happened. It might have been my constant prayers that everyone would stay safe, I wouldn't ruin Martina's house, and that God would use me to lead well. But no matter what it was, it worked out by the grace of God. The students worked incredibly hard the entire week which was awesome to see. It was one of those moments in life that you look back on and you'd be a fool for taking the credit for. It was so obviously the work of God through you and others that all you can do is say, 'wow'.

So, beyond the worksite, the week with the Colorado and Virginia groups was incredible. One of the most remarkable things about the whole trip to me was the fellowship and comradery that was formed as the week went on. It was truly a blessing to watch the groups come together and form friendships that never would have been there if it weren't for the Kingdom of God.

As the "Club Intern" I feel obliged to talk a little bit about how Club went for the week. For those of you that don't know, Club is our evening program that includes crazy games, a worship set, an occasional guest "performance", and a sermon, which all lead into small groups. I assist Scott in putting this all together. It's been a heck of an experience. I've been able to connect to a ton of different talented musicians, singers, and performers in Philly. And I've even seen those musicians connect in a really cool way

Programming-wise, I thought Club was as good as it had ever been on Sunday night. The music was there, energy was there, everything was awesome. It was the start of an incredible experience for the students that are coming through are able to be a part of. My heart for Club is to create an environment that invites the Spirit of God to work in the hearts and lives of all that experience it. There's a bunch of different programming decisions that are made in order to do this, but when it comes down to it, we simply pray. Entrusting the time to God and letting Him work through us and the decisions that we've made. The time of prayer before Club has honestly become a highlight of the day for me. It allows me to quiet my heart and just let go of all the logistics and understand that God is going to use the time no matter what.

Spotsylvania left on Friday afternoon and Colorado was set to leave the following morning. However, that night we were in Creation-prep mode. We were pushing all day long trying to get everything packed and ready to go for Tuesday morning when we would leave for a week long festival in the middle-of-nowhere, PA. A few of the interns (including myself) were chopping up wretched firewood for the week, when Anita comes over and informs us that Sara isn't feeling well and might have to go to the hospital. We prayed together, but continued working. Not much more time passed when we saw flashing lights and a fire truck pulling into the parking lot (there weren't enough ambulances at the local hospital so they sent what they had).

To be honest, I was scared. But I also knew that everything was gonna be okay. I was most blown away at the love that the group from Colorado showed Sara by getting together as a group and praying. Sara was taken to the hospital and stayed for a few days and was released back to us on Sunday. I don't want to get the diagnosis wrong so if you want to know, too bad! All I know is that we were incredibly happy to have her back serving with us.

So...Creation. Yeah.... what an experience.
The first night there was a torrential down pour that soaked all our belongings and almost blew away all our canopies. The rest of the week kinda followed suit. We served all the meals, went to all the night-time festivities, and enjoyed a lot of time with the 100 students on our campsite. Beyond the uncomfortable wet clothes, lack of sleep, and relentless rain, it was a great week... We were able to build relationships with students that will be coming to the project later this summer. Out of fear of rambling and complaining too much longer, we'll move on from Creation.

As soon as we got back from the exhausting week though, we had a lot of work to do. Cleaning out coolers, putting away chairs, cleaning tables, and tons of other miscellaneous tasks. We also prepped the buildings for the next day when a group would be arriving for a short week.

The group from Haverford arrived around 8:30 the next morning and we were ready to hit the worksites. I was given a different site to lead this week due to the lack of students that were in this particular youth group. I was a little nervous about going into someone's house that I hadn't served in before, but God guided my steps and made for a great day on the job. Though I thought it went awfully, I found out later it was the highlight of the students day. God was obviously laughing in my face due to the lack of faith and trust I had in Him.

I absolutely loved the group from Haverford. We had an incredible week and I speak for everyone when I say I wish that were there with us for a full week. The best part of the week for me was the relationships that I saw form between some of the students. It was really cool to see walls be torn down that I (again) didn't have enough faith to see that God could do it.

Anyway, so after an awesome barbecue on Wednesday evening and an incredibly powerful covenant time, the group headed out. The interns all blitzed the two buildings, cleaning, vacuuming, etc. and we were off. For the next three. stinken. days. (LotR reference for those that are confused).

Personally I had an unbelievably relaxing and awesome break. I slept, had good fellowship with some awesome friends, and ate some good food. Now I'm back here at the project helping RPC (Roxborough Presbyterian Church) put on a summer camp on for 100 little kids. I have the awesome opportunity of running slides and sound for them this week! (I'm seeing this as a week of rest).

Prayer points!!
   Good rest when we get it
   Selflessness
   That God would continue to work in my heart
   Vision on the worksite to see what needs are there and how we can meet them
   My strong and lovely Aunt Anne who is in the hospital (and the ability to focus on things here while that's going on)
   Faithful in reading the Word

So normally I would now talk about how God has been doing personal work in my heart in the latter half of the post, but this post is long enough without that! In short, God truly is shaping me into the man that He wants me to be and I'm super psyched about it! Sorry about not posting for 2 weeks. If you want to know how I'm doing, please please please text me. I may not answer right away but I'd love to hear from you! (seriously)

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support this summer. It wouldn't have been possible without you!

Pray for me

Continued Growth

So it's been 2 and a half weeks since we all moved in to The Philly Project. My last update ended with the beginning of the real hard work...

For the past two weeks we've moved all of the Project's belongings out of Mt. Airy Presbyterian Church about 20 minutes away from our new facility next door to Roxborough Pres. We loaded up 5 (overflowing) box truck loads and six 15-passenger vans with no seats in them all over the course of about 4 days. Among those loads there were 40 sets of oak bunk beds, upwards of 15 couches, 2 giant refrigerators, two 250+lb televisions, an insane amount of silverware, over 20 mattresses and box springs, and much, much more.

It was incredible to see God shine through everyone as we encouraged each other, sweat our butts off, and pushed ourselves to the limit.  Since we completed the move we've been doing everything and anything to prepare the new building for the students which will arrive here this Friday the 14th.

One night this week (they all blend together) we went to the Milley's house for an awesome time of fellowship, good food, games, and conversations. It was a blessing to spend some time off site and be hosted and loved by such an awesome family. On Thursday night we went to Chuck's Kiloran's house for another awesome night of fellowship. All of these times are truly bringing the team closer together, even despite our competitive spirits when playing card games and the like.

During the preparation of the new building we've hung dry wall, spackeled, put together bunk beds, built walls, painted, and many other construction-y things. This work has doubled as our "worksite training". This week we'll meet the home owners that we'll be working at for the duration of the summer which I'm super pumped about.

Personal assignments. Hmm.. Let's chat about that for a second. Really, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my personal assignment is the phrase "it's had its ups and downs".
The "ups":
I've made a hole through every wall that I needed to. One of my jobs has been to set up the sanctuary for the club time this summer. We had to run a cable back from both sides of the stage to the sound board on top of the balcony. We got one set completed early on, no problems. However, the other set of speakers we had to drill through 3 walls to get it back in order for it to stay out of the way. I, with the help of Scott at times, probably spent upwards of 4 or 5 hours trying to drill holes through the walls. The reason being that 2 of them had metal in them and it took quite some time to get through that as you can imagine.
Although this was incredibly difficult and time consuming, I classify it as an "up" because it is now completed. The sanctuary is borderline entirely set up and I'm super pumped about it. The sound system is LOUD and we have an incredible display of lights, too. It's been sweet to learn all about how to run cables, set up speakers, run a sound board and all that!

The "downs":
So the hardest and yet potentially the most fruitful part of my PA is to invite all the musicians to come into the project and play worship sets throughout the summer. This has proved to be extremely challenging, but also very cool in a way. Man, has God been teaching me patience. It's been really cool to connect with musicians that I've never met before. I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone and seeing how God really pulls the bands together this summer. One thing I know for sure is that whatever happens and whoever comes in, it wasn't me. This is just one of those things that I would be an absolute fool to take credit for putting together.

Prayer requests!

   Group/staff unity as we continue to get to know each other
   A focus on Christ in all things
   The humility and willingness to serve as Jesus did
   A desire to grow and to know God better
   That I would trust God's ability to put bands together!
   A thankful and grateful heart for all that God has blessed me with
   Continued physical stamina and health
   The students as they prepare for their trips to TPP
   Boldness to step out in faith and spread the gospel

Sorry for the extensive list. Obviously there's more. If you'd like more specific, personal requests, you can contact me via Facebook or E-mail (hagerty.jp@gmail.com). Or if you have my number, just text me!

So once again if you're only interested in the update on the project, you can stop reading. The next part will be about what God has been revealing to me about His loving character.

So over the past few days I've been praying that God would just break my heart and tear down any walls that inhibit me from knowing him better. As a result, He has begun to show me more of His love. More of who He is. More of why I follow Him. Through multiple conversations that I've had with members of the staff, the interns, and interactions with one woman at the Paoli fair today, God has showed me what His love means.

There was a woman, Sheila, who was packing up her stuff getting ready to leave the fair. Anita mentioned to Jess and I that we should ask her if we could help at all, so we did. After breaking down Sheila's tent, we brought all of her boxes to her truck and loaded it up. We then prayed with her about some health and anxiety issues that she has been having. She must have said 'thank you' over 30 times in the 15 minutes that we met her. God truly used us to bless Sheila in this way. I am so thankful for the opportunity that we had to be able to do that, and especially for Anita and her active pursuit of that situation.

One of the coolest things that has been on my heart recently is the way in which the grace of Christ demands a response from us. Not in a lawful or obligation sort of way; but in a loving, reverent way. The notion that we are to serve out of the overflow of what Christ has done for us is, though cliché, very true. Admittedly, there were times this past week that I didn't feel like there was an overflow. That I was simply serving and "loving" out of obligation and habit. I also know that this will not be the only time that I will feel like this. Of course, God being who He is, poured into my life with displays of love, through His Word, and conversations. I know that He will continue to reveal Himself to me as I press in deeper to His Word and in worship.

It's been a crazy 2.5 weeks here. Pray that God will continue to teach me, mold me, and grow me into the follower of Christ that He desires me to be. He is good. Thank you for reading.

Pray for me.

Here I am

I'm here at The Philadelphia Project (TPP). We (myself and 8 other interns) moved in on Wednesday and since then have been serving, getting to know each other, preparing the new building here at Roxborough Presbyterian Church, and many other activities.

On Thursday we went up the Northeast extension to the Poconos where we took a retreat at camp Ichthus where we began to learn more about each other and TPP. At the camp we cheered each other on as we each took our turn climbing up a rock wall and then taking a zip line down from the top. We then moved onto two ropes course activities in which we had to use team work to navigate through. In the second, we were unable to speak and had to communicate via hand signals, encourage via clapping, and direct by holding onto a shoulder or something of that sort. All of us were able to step up in leadership in conquering the course. 

The final challenge we faced was getting all of our team members over a 13 foot wall. The catch was that only two among us were allowed to speak. Furthermore, those that couldn't speak also were not allowed to use any form of communication at all. Janae and Jess did an awesome job of brainstorming ways to get us all over the wall. And after bruises, failed attempts, and moans of pain as strength was giving out, we were able to get all but one of our members over. It was really a great exercise of leadership, submission, self-control, and teamwork. 

The rest of the retreat was dedicated to a few sessions that we were able to learn more about the vision of the project and our role in it this summer. 

Since we have returned we have had a lot of free time, but we have used much of it to begin our the personal assignments that were given to us. Mine is basically to help Scott oversee Club Time here at the Project. This includes contacting all band members that will be coming through to serve, as well as in the future helping with sound equipment, running slide shows for lyrics, and making sure all goes as planned.

So that's pretty much a run down of what we've been doing so far here. A few practical ways that you can be praying for us:

Continued unity and love

Unifying our desires with the desires of Christ in our lives

The city of Philadelphia

Servants hearts as the hard work begins this week

We would be pressing into God's word and his love for each of us

That God would continue to bless this ministry and this city

There's a lot more that's going on in my heart that I definitely want to discuss. If you're just looking for an update, feel free to stop reading! If you're interested in what God has been revealing to me and how He's been encouraging me, that's what the next part will be about!

The guy interns and I, Josh and Allan, have been encouraging me by both their lifestyles and their words in a huge way. The way that they're just pumped up about Jesus and who He is to them has been absolutely a blessing to me. It encourages me in ways they don't even know. While I've been wrestling with doubts and fears, this is one thing that has truly begun to bring me so much peace. 

Another way that God has revealed Himself to me is through just the bonds that have been formed so quickly amongst the interns. It'd be easy for all of us to just view this as a missions trip in which we get to serve the Lord, which it is. However, it really has begun to mean so much more. A time to grow in fellowship with one another. To get to know each other on a deeper level. To love one another. To respect each other. To glean from each other. To spur one another on in the name of Jesus. It's so much more than just a missions trip.

The title of this blog is "Here I Am". The reason I chose this title is because it gives me the image of a child answering his parents call and saying "Here I am, I'm ready. Whatever you need to get done, I'm here, ready to answer the call and build your kingdom." My prayer is that that image will be my heart this summer. Ready to answer God's call on my life and build His kingdom in Philadelphia. 

There's a lot more that God has been showing me, but I'm gonna grab some shut-eye. Thank you for reading! God bless.

Pray for me.

Come to the Fountain

"Come, all who are thirsty,

come to the waters; 

and you who have no money, 

come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk,

without money and without cost,

Why spend money on what is not bread,

and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

and you will delight in the richest of fare."

Isaiah 55:1-2

There's a story in John in which Jesus talks to a Samaritan woman at a well. There's a myriad of lessons to learn from the conversation that he has with her, but the one that God has hurled at me on numerous occasions in the past 2 weeks has been one of living water. Of thirsting for God. Of desiring God. Of needing Jesus. Instead of just worshipping God, talking about him, or seeking after him; actually NEEDING him. There's a difference, I think. We were created to worship, human beings were. Whether we worship ourselves, our money, our grades, whatever it is, we worship constantly. Man, I got off topic already.

I'm writing tonight because I want to express what God has taught me recently. That's usually why I write on here at all. But for some reason this time it seems special. Over the past 2 weeks, God has showed me what living a life of worship requires. Actually, in reality, all of this semester that's what He's been showing me. The idea of thirsting for God. What does that mean? 

It's funny because thirst is something that is a very physical and relatable feeling for all of us, even as we live in privileged families in 21st century America. We've all been thirsty. We've all had that dry-mouth feeling. We know what that feels like. Let's be honest here, it sucks. I hate being thirsty. Literally the only thing on my mind when I'm thirsty is how I can get something to drink. My mind is fixed on who I can talk to, where I could go, what I could do, all to just get a little drink of water. I need it. 

Now, I don't know the Hebrew or Greek translation of the original text in Isaiah 55, but I think it's very interesting that the writer uses the word "thirsty". As I said, it's so relatable. To think that he uses it in the context of knowing God... We see this also in the Psalms when the Psalmist writes: "You God, are my God, Earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you" (Psalm 63:1). This is what I want for my life. This is not even a little bit close to what I'm in currently. At this point I'm just praying that God will do a work in my heart to give me the desires to know Him better. You see, thirsting for God means so much more than just worshipping him or talking about him. Thirsting for God requires humble dependence. Letting go and accepting that HE is the only thing that satisfies. It means realizing that it's him that I want. It's not my reputation, it's not my grades, it's not good health, it's not how I look, it's not how people view me, no, it's not even about my desires to let loose and go running back to old vices that used to grip me so tightly. It's humility. The humility to say, "God, I need you more than I need X" Where X=EVERYTHING. 

So hopefully that expressed the lesson God has taught me about what it looks like to need him...? Not sure if that's even the best way to put it. Whatever. But now I want to briefly talk about how despite my need for God, I continually run to a multitude of other things fully believing that they will "quench my thirst" (if you will). What is it about this world that so tempts and convinces me that I can be satisfied elsewhere? Is it the way our bodies are designed? Am I wired to believe in the lies that are told to me on a daily basis? Simply put, the answer is yes. It is a direct result of the sinful nature of man that can be traced back to the garden with Adam and Eve. Is that an excuse to just throw the towel in and accept that we're broken, sinful people? Absolutely not. If that were the case, passages like Psalm 63 and Isaiah 55 wouldn't exist. Actually, the entire Gospel wouldn't exist, but that's beside the point right now. Back on track, the reality of the world is that it appears satisfying in every way. For me, the party scene, financial security, a good reputation, beautiful women, and material possessions are all at the top of a very long list of things that look attractive and satisfying. However, when those things are achieved or obtained, I find time after time, that they are not true. That they are empty. Full of...emptiness. Even after my 2,333,496th time running back to something, it stays constant...but constantly empty.

There is something more. Jesus offers eternal life for those that drink from the fountain of life. I don't know how well I'm getting my point across. But honestly, I'm just rambling at 1AM. I think it's about time I go to sleep. I'll leave you with the words of a Rend Collective Experiment song:

"I need you, Lord

But I want to need you more...

I am broken but I'm running towards you, God"

Pray for me. 

A Life of Worship

The word "worship" has been one that has surrounded me my entire life. When I was in Sunday School I was told not to worship idols, when I got to middle school I started playing in worship bands, when I got to High School I was challenged with what the term actually meant. However, it was only until recently that I've really started to wrestle with this idea. A few questions have just kinda popped up inside my head. What does it mean to worship God in everything that I do? What does it mean to give thanks in difficult circumstances? What would it look like if I actually practiced this?

Okay, so I don't actually know the answers to these questions, but I'm starting to wrestle and pray over them. I'm confident that God will lead me towards Himself as He's the one that put them on my heart in the first place.

The second question, "What does it mean to give thanks (worship) in difficult circumstances?" is one that has been weighing on my heart all week long. I found out that my Aunt Anne, who has been in remission for the past 9 years, found a lump earlier this week. This woman has been through just about everything. The fear that consumed me when I heard this news was immeasurable; I can't even imagine how she felt. How could this happen when it seemed like we were finally out of the woods? Just when it seemed to no longer be a threat, the cancer returned. Doubts, fears, anxiety, sadness, and darkness flooded my heart. I couldn't even think about it for too long. I did everything I could to distract myself. However, that road always comes to a dead end. So there I was, lying in my bed after a long day full of desperate attempts to keep my mind busy. God confronted me. Revealed himself...Challenged me. 

Suddenly, I remembered James 1.

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds" (James 1:2, NIV)

I remembered Matthew 11.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, NIV)

I remembered Phillippians 4

"And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phillippians 4:7, NIV)

Thankfully, we got word that the cancer has not spread and a surgery in the near future will hopefully remove the rest of the tumor.

There I was, with the God of the universe by my side, offering me help, blessings, rest, comfort, peace, joy, (the list goes on and on), and I was terrified of a disease. I'm not, by any means, making light of the situation. Instead, I am proposing an idea. The idea that there truly is nothing that we should fear on this earth. The idea that instead of distracting ourselves, bottling things up, doubting goodness, we can lay it all down at the foot of the cross. 

The cross. The only reason I have to boast. The place of forgiveness. The most perfect display of love ever shown. The foundation of life. This list goes on and on, too. What more, though? The grave is empty. HE IS RISEN!

What does this have to do with living a worshipful life? God calls us to give thanks in every situation that we're put into. No matter how difficult. Why does he do this? Does God expect us to "find the silver lining" as Bradley Cooper incessantly searched for in "Silver Linings Playbook"? Does God want us to just find that one tiny little bit of good in every situation and hold onto it as if we know nothing else? Not at all. God calls us to give thanks because Jesus has died, resurrected, and already achieved victory over everything in our lives. I'm not sure if I successfully explained this...In an attempt to sum it up, I am called to worship God, because of the work that Jesus has done on the cross, in spite of any possible situation thrown at me. There is not a single moment in my life that I do not have a reason to worship. This is not something that I've done well in my life. Now that I'm praying over it, I know that God will grant me a worshipful spirit in all that I do, and through all that I face. 

As I'm on the home-stretch of my second semester, freshman year of college, I'm exhausted. In every sense of the word. I want nothing more than to be in Myrtle Beach with my family. To be working with The Philadelphia Project. To get away from the shadow of stress that school work casts over every second of my life. But that's not what I'm called to do. I'm called to worship. To worship the Lord of everything with everything.

Lord, allow me to say hallelujah in everything that comes my way. Change my heart to be geared towards you and your greatness. Amen.

Pray for me.

The Gospel: Soaked in Love, Absolute in Truth, and in Direct Opposition to Our Culture

Last night I was reading through 2nd Timothy and there was one theme that stuck out to me in almost every single verse. Now, 2nd Timothy is the second letter written by the apostle Paul to a young man, Timothy, who was in a town in which many people were starting to turn away from faith in Christ. Paul, at the time, was imprisoned in Rome. So picture this: an older, wiser man in prison as a direct result of his preaching the Gospel, is now (while in prison) writing a letter to Timothy who resides in a town that is rapidly turning away from the Gospel. Which, given the nature of the law in those days, means that ultimately, this town will likely imprison people for preaching the Gospel. Get that? It's nuts.

Okay so that's enough history. The theme that just screamed in my head over and over is how incredibly countercultural the Gospel is. As Christians, we say this all the time. Jesus broke social boundaries, the Gospel calls us to live differently, etc. But last night as I read through Paul's charges to Timothy, I began to see even more how radical this theme is in the Gospel. Listen to this, Paul says: 

"He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time" 

2 Timothy 1:9

This stands out in our culture for a few obvious reasons. Number one, where in our culture, friend circles, jobs, schools, are we called to live a holy life? We (or at least I), have grown up thinking and believing that our reputation is incredibly important to our identity and our abilities. This belief, from what I've gathered, is innate. Again, we aren't told by any of our elders or influences to uphold our reputation to the best of our abilities. Sure, maybe once we get older we're encouraged to build a "full" resume which could be argued to be a "paper reputation", but we're not directly told, "make sure others think highly of you". Yet, we spend so much time and effort ensuring that this be the case. So, although this aspect of our culture isn't thoroughly verbalized, it is incredibly prominent. However, the Gospel (specifically Paul here), is preaching that we must live holy lives. This lifestyle is not even the least bit dependent on the judgement of others on you. However, it wholly resides on something else that Paul shares in the next part of the verse.

"Not because of anything we have done, but because of his own purpose and grace". Huh? You're trying to tell me my efforts to live a holy life are motivated by something other than my own strength and desires? Where do you see this in our culture? I'll use an example that is especially potent to me because of where I am in my life. In college, your performance determines what rewards or consequences you will receive. Tangibly, my grades. If I study hard for a test, it is more than likely that I'll get a good grade on it (barring factors like lack of sleep, an overly challenging test, etc.). It makes sense! But the Gospel says it has nothing to do with what you do. You are given grace freely. God hands out A+'s to all those who come and ask! Granted, this isn't the only aspect of the Gospel that you need to grasp in order to follow Jesus, but it is the truth none-the-less.

There's one very large aspect of the Gospel that is so countercultural that many Christians (including myself) have a hard time talking about it to those who don't believe in it. That is that the Gospel claims to be (and is) an absolute Truth. Jesus, all throughout the Gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, shouts this. He says in John 14:6: "I am the way, the truth, the life; no one comes to the Father except through me" and in Matthew 7:13 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." 

In our "open-minded" society, tolerance, equality, and acceptance is emphasized more than anything else. "You can believe what you want, and therefore for you, it's the truth". Do I have a problem with tolerance, equality, and acceptance? Not even in the slightest. In fact I do my best to practice these virtues. But it's when the word truth gets put into these situations that I do have a problem with. It's when tolerance turns into a belief that whatever it is that you're tolerating is a reality. It's when equality for everyone interferes with what us, as Christians, know to be the truth. It's when we accept other people's beliefs to "work for them" even though we claim to believe in a God that claims to be the only one. 

This aspect of the Gospel is harsh and can be taken as offensive. But it doesn't stand alone. A pharisee (teacher of the law) expecting to trip Jesus up might I add, asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is. He replied simply: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39. Think about what this means. If this is the greatest commandment, the only conclusion you can make about Christianity is that it is a religion based around love. How can something be so drenched in love, yet in such great opposition to our culture? Well, that's a topic for another post. 

For now, I want to make a charge very similar to that of Paul's to Timothy. "Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 2:3). This, again, is countercultural. He asks Timothy to suffer. He knows that suffering will come onto Timothy because of the nature of the Gospel. So, by charging him to suffer he is simultaneously asking him to live holy. Living holy, by the absolute truth of the Gospel, loving the Lord God with all your heart, and loving others will bring about suffering, but it brings about hope. A hope that triumphs over all of the hurt and suffering that comes along with it. 

These are the things that God has put on my heart and revealed to me through His Word. As I continue to pray that God will show me more and more of His face, I urge you as well to seek after him. He will answer. 

Pray for me. 

Incomparable Excitement

On Friday night I helped run sound at a blitz weekend for The Philadelphia Project, where I'll be interning this summer. I'll tell you a little bit about how the night went and the events that led up to it.

Scott Smith texted me on Tuesday asking me to play bass for the blitz on Friday night. I quickly agreed, however, later he asked me to play electric guitar instead. I told him that I had no experience but that I'd ask my buddy Ben if he was available to play. Both Ben and his brother Luke (who plays drums) ended up playing and I asked Scott if I could help in any other way. He said I'd be running sound. At first, my thoughts were, "uhh...I've never done that but I guess I'll do my best" However, throughout the rest of the week I was praying that God would use my weakness in this area to glorify Him. I slowly, through Him, became confident in my ability to do something that I had very little knowledge of. 

So I arrived at Mt. Airy Presbyterian church a little before 5 on Friday and began to set up. Ben, Luke, and their dad showed up and helped me out in my little knowledge of sound systems. Once everything was set up, the band practiced, we prayed, and "club time" began. God used the words of both the songs and Scott's message to speak into my life. Scott spoke on the freedom that exists in giving your life to Christ.

This freedom, I've come to realize, is something that can't really be described; only experienced. I've experienced this freedom, but I've also experienced enslavement to sin and brokenness. In fact, that's the only way it's possible to experience Christ's freedom; to experience enslavement to something else first. Romans 6:16-18 says,

"Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey-whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness"

Paul goes on to explain how being slaves to God and to righteousness ultimately leads to eternal life; and how being slaves to sin leads to death, destruction, and a radical lack of benefits. It's really interesting.

Anyway, back on track. After club time, we went into small groups where Scott and I had the unique experience of being able to speak Jesus into the lives of the students from a leadership perspective. Hearing the things that some of these kids were struggling with was both humbling and heart-breaking. But then praying over them and seeing them love each other, come along side each other, offer to pray for their struggles, laugh with each other; and then later to go crazy in the gym laughing, getting competitive, all with such joy was so incredibly encouraging. It was something that I experienced last summer as a student, but it's a whole new experience as a leader. Although I was a leader on Friday, I was taught by the kids more than I taught them... I think.

This night was all just a small taste of what I'll be doing for the entire duration of the summer with The Philadelphia Project. God's doing some incredible things through this ministry and the people that support it and keep it running. I am more than excited to be a part of something so moving in God's kingdom. The joy that the thought of this summer provides me casts a large shadow over the nervousness that also exists. In fact, only by His grace can I say that, at this point, I'm almost completely void of nervousness.

I've never been so excited for anything in my life than to be a part of The Philadelphia Project this summer. Perhaps it's because I feel so close to God and I know that this experience will only allow me to know Him better. But part of it has to be that I feel so called to do this. Especially having experienced TPP from a student's perspective and now, though only for one night, as a leader, I feel that God will use me to bless this ministry. It's going to have its difficulties and setbacks, but I know that this summer will be one of the best of my life thus far.

Pray for me.

Culture Shock - A Cry for Justice

As a result of my recent prayers asking God for a heart that seeks out justice, I've recently been absolutely heart-broken by the general college culture. First, a little disclaimer: By no means is this post a judgement on everyone involved in the college culture. I consider myself a victim of all of these vices and have no feet to stand on to pass judgement.

I look around on the weekends and I see an almost unlimited amount of brokenness consuming an entire generation. People idolize alcohol, drugs, sex, grades, and at the root of it, themselves. It's, in my opinion, nothing short of disgusting. One of the most blatant displays of injustice that I've noticed recently is just simple gossip and meanness towards certain people. It makes me sick to hear people talk down on others for the sake of building themselves up. However, this is something that I continue to do even though it so disgusts me. I get it, making fun of someone, criticizing them, "hating" on them, attacking every little thing that they do/say makes yourself feel like you're better than them. If you believe yourself to be "better" than others, why not talk about the person that's "less" than you? But there's the problem, are they really less than you? What makes you better than them? We are all human, all sinners, all outcasts to God. So why would anyone ever have the right to say a single negative word against someone?

I want to see change in this generation. To see people take a stand against gossip, against drinking, against drugs, against sex. Are these things that we want to tell our kids we partook in while at college? Are you really going to proudly say to your wife "my girlfriend and I used to have sex all the time" or to your kids "I went out every single weekend in college and got plastered". Aside from that, what do these vices that so infest our culture do for you now? Do you find yourself waking up on Saturday and Sunday morning happy about the events that happened the night before? Are you satisfied with puking your brains out night after night? How about when you're coming down from being high and you realize you completely forgot to do all your homework? Or when you finally take a break from slaving over your homework to realize you forgot your best friend's birthday? These things are detrimental at their CORE. How long will it take for our generation to realize that?

This isn't a guilt-trip. It's more of a call to change. There's more out there than just following the patterns of the world. Though maybe you're someone that really likes this culture. Someone that loves getting drunk, going to a party, maybe bringing a girl back to your room. If that's the case, I can't change your lifestyle. However, know that someday those things are going to get old, and a lot of times they have severe and immediate consequences. Why not change now?

As I've wrestled with the disgusting nature of the college culture and my part in it, I can only look to one thing: the cross. As he had the weight of the entire world's sin on his shoulders, Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Such grace. Such love. Only a God that has undergone such injustice can pursue true justice the way that he has and continues to do.

To put it plain: I hate our college culture. It's about time we, as followers of Jesus, do something about it.

Pray for our generation.
Pray for me.

Luke-Warm Christianity

So, this idea of luke-warm Christianity has been brought to my attention recently and I'm just now beginning to give it a lot of thought. To me, the first thing that comes to mind is the parable of the minas that Jesus tells in Luke 19. Essentially there is a king that gives 10 of his servants a mina (essentially just money) and commands them "put this money to work until I come back". The parable focuses on 3 of the servants. One gained 10 more minas, one gained 5, and the other returned the single mina that was given to him originally. The king was pleased with the two servants that multiplied their money. However, to the man who did nothing with the gift that he had given him, he was furious.

That is kind of how I view this idea of luke-warm Christianity. I am given a gift in the salvation that comes through grace alone in Jesus Christ. I am called by that grace to make disciples in His name. However, what happens if I don't do anything with that gift? If I just put it away, keep it safe, but don't let anyone know that I have it? Am I truly grateful for that gift? Do I really believe that I even have what that gift has to offer? You see, when we have money, we have the opportunity to make more money. No matter how little money we have. How is that any different than the gift that was given to us by Jesus Christ? We were given salvation through no works of our own, but only by faith. Why should we hide that? Why should we keep that to ourselves and act like we don't have it?

The problem with luke-warm Christianity is that at the base of it lies a problem with insecurity and identity. I am so worried about my perceived identity and therefore I don't have faith, I don't step out and trust, I don't live according to the Word, I don't speak up, I don't have self control, I wade through sin as if there aren't going to be any repercussions. But that's not it. That's not what Christianity is. I forget that the Gospel is offensive. I forget that Jesus came to bring division. I forget that the road is narrow and few will find it. I pick out the things in the Gospel that I like and I ignore the others as if I have the authority to do that. Real Christianity does not pick and choose at the Gospel. It doesn't shout the things that Jesus whispers and whisper the things that Jesus shouted. Real Christianity is based off of how and why Christ lived. That's what produces fruit. That's what I want.

It's so easy to preach, discuss, live, and "advertise" the parts of the Gospel that offer endless grace to those who live by it. But when it comes down to it, the Gospel doesn't offer free grace to those who ignore God's commands. The grace of Jesus INSPIRES me to live a Christ-like life. Will I be perfect? NO. That's not possible. But through continual repentance and clinging onto the cross, I am presented faultless before God.

One incredible thing about the cross is that He didn't wait for me to clean up. He didn't wait for me to hear about grace to die. No, He died for me before I knew Him. Before I knew what his grace was. Before I knew what it would mean for my life. He's had holes in his hands THE WHOLE TIME. He didn't wait. So why should I? Why should I wait to become more  "mature"? Why should I live a life of luke-warm Christianity? I shouldn't. And ya know what? I won't. This is real. This is life. It's not at all easy. It's not my life, either. I was bought for a price with the blood of Jesus Christ, creator of the universe, born in a stable, tortured, killed, and raised to life. Can I sit here and tell you that my life is mine? I'd be a fool.

Pray for me.

An Unexpected Transformation

The other day I posted my thoughts from the previous week that expressed the complacency that I was feeling toward my distance from God. However, even before I posted that, God came in, destroyed my doubts, granted me peace, forgiveness, and the love that I was searching for.

It's quite unbelievable how God reveals himself to those who follow him. (Of course, I'm using the term unbelievable in the figurative sense, for God himself is very believable). He uses people, moments, conversations, logic, interactions, and he even uses sin. Throughout this break from school I've been running in the opposite direction of God, yet he keeps tripping me up; not allowing me to get too far from him. He finally picked me up and turned me around the other night after having a conversation with my good friend Tim Dirksen.

But before I go into the details of this conversation let me tell you about the moments in which God revealed himself to me that led up to this unexpected transformation. On Sunday in church a song was sung that praises God for how wonderful, powerful, and loving He truly is. It is a very up beat song that was driven by bass and vocals. Sarah Timlin was leading worship and she essentially led the vocals in the song. I'll tell you this: I will never forget the look on her face, the power in her voice, the sheer joy that she felt. She was worshipping. She was worshipping the God that created her with every ounce of her being. She was smiling ear-to-ear, singing her heart out. And it was beautiful. God was shining through her brighter than I had ever seen Him shine through a human being.

Another God sighting occurred in a short conversation I had with my Father a few days after New Years. We were briefly discussing my excursion up to the Poconos in which a lot of "partying" took place. He gently told me "Look, JP. You can't keep going on living this double life. It would be one thing if it only affected you, but it affects all of those around you. You have a great opportunity to witness to your friends but if you're living just the way that they are, what's the difference between you and them?" It was short, sweet, and to the point. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

What did God do next? He enabled me to be completely open with Tim Dirksen for 4 hours about how I had been feeling. I stopped using the phrase "distant from God" and started telling it how it was and said "Tim, I am straight up sprinting in the opposite direction of God". It was freeing. It felt incredible to finally be open and honest with someone about my actual emotions instead of just beating around the bush. We talked about why I was continually putting up with the sin patterns in my life. We talked about why is the Gospel so powerful, yet I am still able to live a sinful life.

Through everything we discussed, nothing meant more to me than answering the question: "Why, if this Christian life is so hard, do we push on? Why do we die to ourselves and serve the Lord when living for ourselves is so much easier?" The simple answer is two-fold. One day, far into the future, I am going to look the creator of the universe in the eye; face to face with my God I am going to say "Here I am. Take me in. I'm not perfect, but I tried." What is more beautiful than that? The other part of the answer is this: even though living for oneself may be easier, where will you find yourself at the end of your life? If the only purpose you have is to please yourself, to be successful, make a lot of money, achieve "happiness", well...then what? Do you throw the towel in and say, "well, I lived a good life". If that's the case for you, okay. But I urge you to think twice; search for something more. Because it exists. It exists in living for the God that was beaten, murdered, and raised to life for the wrongs that you and I have committed. It's not going to be easy, and you're sure as hell not going to do it perfectly, but I can promise you that it will be worth it.

So now, here I am, finally growing. I am not complacent, though. I realized that complacency does not only exist in times of struggle and hardship, but during fruitful times as well. There is always something new to learn, and for the rest of my life I will be striving to grow closer and closer to God.

Pray for me.

Complacency

Last time I wrote I expressed my distance from God. When I wrote that, I was restless; actively looking for a way to find God again. Here I am, about 2 months later, probably "further" from God, complacent. Doubts have swallowed my heart. Not doubts about who God is, but doubts about whether or not He even exists. Really scary doubts. My life has slowly but surely morphed back into the way it was before I even understood who God is.

All my life I have believed in a God who claims this:

I am all powerful, all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresent, and I have created everything you see, touch, taste, hear. Sense. There is no good that exists apart from me. All of the evil that exists in the world is due to the choices that my creation (humans) has made. I have sent my son into the world to become a human, to live a perfect life, and ultimately be crucified and raised to life. Why? Because I created you, and I love you. I want to redeem your poor decisions that create evil by giving you a way to salvation and eternal life with me in Heaven. However, while you are on this earth this will not be an easy road. It is narrow and difficult. However this truth still exists: My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, boast all the more in your weaknesses so that my power may rest on you.

That's the God that I'm supposedly following. But I'm having a lot of trouble doing it. I'm finding it harder and harder to let go of my vices, to resist temptations, to forget insecurities, to give myself fully to him as he commands. 

Jesus says this in Luke 14

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."

That's some heavy stuff... God doesn't want half of us, or even 99%. God wants every second of our lives to glorify him. I am weak. I do not have the power to do that, which is why Jesus did what he did. But his suffering on the cross demands a life of faith that I am unable to live. I don't know the balance between "using" his unlimited grace and living for him. 

So here I am. Through my first semester of college. Broken, scared, doubting, living, doing what I want to do. Not paying attention to God's commands for my life. And honestly, complacent. I'm having fun following the sinful desires of my heart.

So I'm waiting. Waiting for God's mercy and love to capture my heart as it once did. Do I have to meet him half way? I don't think so. I want God to accept me as I am. To meet me in my needs, my struggles, my temptations, and my sinful desires. Because Jesus has gone through the temptations and the sufferings. Because Jesus suffered, was tempted, beaten, tortured, ridiculed, killed. Jesus even wept for me.

Come, God. I'm inviting you in. 

Pray for me. Please.