Grace

The grace of God just transformed my heart.

The power of God. The power of Sin. The nature of this world that allows things to be how they are; and that God is the author and perfecter of that. He cannot be stopped. I do not have the power to shut him out of my life. Even when I try, he cracks open the door and His mighty and penetrating light pierces every area of my life.

It's unbelievable how many times I sin greatly against the God that created me. It's unbelievable how every single time, he takes me back. Why?


"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains."

One thousand. I think I reached that "milestone" long ago. Even far beyond that almost unfathomable quantity of sins, He loves me. He cares for me. He changes me. He knows me. He lives inside me. I am His and He is mine.

I'm writing in this post exactly a week from my first night in college. College is different. I'm on my own. I don't have anybody to answer to in the physical realm of this world. I can do whatever I want (which, of course, is a relative term that must be subjected to the Moral Law).  Now, I've always wanted to be alone. To be independent. To do everything on my own. It's great, right? But I realized something. Actually two somethings. Two very important somethings.

The first one, and probably the one that is more essential than the other, is that I'm not alone. I have my savior that set me free from my sins. "Unending love, amazing grace". That is something that cannot be overlooked. His love, care, passion, and desire for me is unparalleled. That's what matters. Not the number of times I sin or even the severity of them. No. It is His perfect and complete love for me. I cannot understand how great it is, or even why He so perfectly loves me, but I can rest in that love. There is no better way to feel someone's love than to allow them to love you and invite them into every aspect of your life. It is hard to do because all I want is to control my own life.

"Into your hands I commend my spirit"

The second thing is that I can't be alone, in the physical sense of the word. If I am, the "bigger" sins that I struggle with are going to show up more often and even be bigger. I need community. I posted about this earlier. I have to get plugged in to a group of people that love Jesus and that care for me, as I can care for them. Accountability is essential.

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" Galations 6:2

I want to live like that. Pray for me.